Welcome to the Liquid Stunning

Noooooooo!

Two nights.  Two nightmares.  THOSE nightmares.

just a reflection
just a glimpse
just a little reminder
of all the what abouts
and all the might have
could have beens
another day
some other way
but not another reason to continue
and now you're one of us
the wretched

This morning I woke up upset, but didn't feel good enough to get up, so I kept laying there; which kept me in the sticky web-strands of my nightmares for longer, and thus they spun further little "epilogue yarns".   Goodie goodie.

When I finally woke up a little while ago, I realized that my throat is so swollen that if I try and make sounds, it closes off and I gag.  I can breathe, but talking is difficult.  So, I'm sitting here, drinking hot tea, trying to decide if I'm going to my job today or if I should call in and cancel it.

I don't know if this reaction is from the rotten apple I ate half of yesterday (who knows if it had some weird species of mildew/fungus/mold on it) or if I'm coming down with some sort of sickness.

All I know is I feel a bit like "The Wretched" at the moment, which goes along with the NIN song lyrics I woke up thinking about in my head (due to the nightmares) and have peppered this blog with.

and in the end
we still pretend
the time we spend
not knowing when
you're finally free
and you could be

but it didn't turn out the way you wanted it to
it didn't turn out quite the way that you wanted it

now you know
this is what it feels like
now you know
this is what it feels like

you can try to stop it but it keeps on coming
you can try to stop it but